A few months ago I started feeling off, like a deflated balloon. I was tired and easily frustrated. Things just didn't seem to settle comfortably. I wouldn't call it depressed but clinically I think you do. I never wanted to hurt myself or the kids but I did wish several time to be left alone. Combined with those feelings and how quickly the baby weight came off and then gaining a few pounds back and the continue hair loss I made a doctor appointment last week.
I think most doctors that are faced with a crying mother of 2 sitting in their office would do what my doctor did. Calm me down, tell me about her experience after her second was born and that it is normal, give me a prescription for zoloft and get me an appointment to see a nurse social worker who deals with these issues.
I think I would make a horrible test subject, I would be fully deceived by any placebo. Just the fact that I went to go get some help and that the blood tests came back normal I feel a little more at ease. I can see that some of the things that were bothering me can wait, I realized that some of my OCD tendencies had been stronger. My neighbor who is a school psychologist told me that the OCD feelings were most likely normal for a stay at home mom, that the messy closet that bothered me is something I look at many times a day and would stick out in my mind more.
I have about another week before they say I should really feel the effects of the zoloft and I am hoping to be lowered in dosage. And I believe when Casey starts to sleep through the night again, he did it for 2 weeks straight and then stopped, the tiredness will go away. And now that I am a bit calmer I think Van is a bit calmer too, well until Mike gets from work (Daddy is his favorite person in the world).
April 26 - Hunker Down Day 45
6 years ago
3 comments:
I'm sorry that you've having a rough time - it's not surprising to me that sleep deprivation can be used for torture.
Good for you for being proactive. I hope you feel better soon.
It was courageous of you to post about this. I'm so glad that you recognized your feelings for what they were and sought help. We mommies have a difficult job. This is not to undermine what daddies do, but to say that caring for small children is so all-consuming that it's tough to get a breath of fresh air. We can lose ourselves. I pray that your meds, conversation, and rest will heal you quickly. I also hope you can find ways to lift the load some. You're a great mom! (:
--Kelley
I have been going through EXACTLY the same thing... and I have been on Zoloft since before I got pregnant with Chloe... in fact I may ask my doctor if we should up my dose for just a little bit. We had the same thing happen with chloe... she was sleeping in her crib for a good chunk of the night, and then she got sick and got her ear infection, so she started sleeping in bed with me again. We are just now attempting to get her back in her crib (two nights down) and then I am going to start working on sleeping through the night. One thing at a time. Not sure if this will make you feel better, but Jason always tells me that because I get stressed means that I am a great mom... if I didn't care I wouldn't be neurotic about my kids! :) My thoughts are with you... you are not alone.
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